Remember The Titans; Starring Donald FACE-on

Here is a moment of grill history.  It was this movie, and this frame that was the first time I went back and and said, “look at this guys face!”  Not only is Donald Faison (Petey Jones) making a face at Denzel Washington (Coach Herman Boone) while he isn’t looking, he does it for a good five seconds straight.  Thank you Donald FACE-on for showing me the way.

This is his face right before he breaks my grill-cherry.  Here we have happy Donald, then when he gets yelled at by Denzel he decides to seek vengeance in a 5 second long weird face shot in his unsuspecting direction.

Not only do we get a squirrel grill, but he also throws in props as well.  A squirrel would be holding an acorn, and since that would be weird for his character, he uses his great improv skills to grasp a nut shaped football instead and shove it into the bottom right of the frame.  Incredible!

The very first grill of Hayden Panettiere’s (Sheryl Yoast) young grill.  What does she do with it?  She hits us with a zombie grill!  She’s only 11 here people, do I see a grill prodigy?

It looks like Denzel is about to head butt this zebra right in the back of his head.  We can only hope after the strike the ref isn’t doomed to talk in whistles like I’ve seen so many times in cartoons.

Yes that’s right, I have a picture of Denzel Washington, expelling about a pint of loogie from his face.  This brought much delight to Wood Harris (Julius Campbell) over his right shoulder.  Who by the way I think is grill proof, it’s not that he doesn’t make faces, he always makes the same face.  I might do a post of all the carbon copy expressions he has, both him and…

Will Patton (Coach Bill Yoast).  It’s amazing how someone can be a good actor AND emotionless.  No he isn’t making an astonished face at the amount of Denzel grillz I have, he just looks that way.

Here is Kip Pardue (Ronnie ‘Sunshine’ Bass).  Can you say obvious hair extensions?  Is it just me or is he taking his character one step further and trying to make him actually look like a bass?  That face isn’t natural.

Speaking of not natural faces, let’s get back to the star of the show, FACE-on.  Those bug eyes, abnormally spaced eyebrows, the slanted grin, and the unfortunate organization of teeth that always makes him look like he got a few chipped.  Stare at that face for five seconds and don’t laugh, I dare you!

Here we get our only glimpse of Earl Poitier (Blue Stanton) and he looks like he is about to eat that paper in his hand.  But Ethan Suplee (Louie Lastik) has to steal the show by looking like he is busting ass in a way that some how is visible to David Jefferson Jr. (Cook).

I never knew how big Ryan Hurst’s (Gerry Bertier) ears were until now.  Stare at this pic and imagine Vince Vaughn saying “Wow!”

Now that we have met both Ryan and Kip, it’s time for them to meet…oh…I think they want to be alone…at least Kip does.

That’s right Notebook fans that’s the one and only Ryan Gosling (Alan Bosley) showing Burgess Jenkins (Ray Budds) exactly what he thinks of him.

First your eyes go to Hurst and you start to wonder how it is humanly possible to make that face, then you sort of wander over to his left ear and you see the guy in the background snarling like he’s about to sneeze all over Gosling’s perfectly combed hair despite the fact that he should have been wearing a helmet for the last 2 hours.

Hey there’s Ethan again, look he is displaying some double neck for us, and who is that behind him?  Why if it isn’t…

Holy Hell!  Why does FACE-on look like he is about to do something evil?

I never saw someone who’s face gets thinner the further up from the neck you go.  Not only that, but if you look closely you can see the skinny person inside him suffocating from that overly tight collar.

Awww, look how happy Suplee is, and how horny looking FACE-on is.  No Donald!  Donald, Donald No!

I don’t know what it is, but to this day whenever FACE-on gets into some over the top emotion, it slays me.  I would right more about this one, but I can’t stop laughing!

This has to be my favorite find in the entire film.  They are pumped up to beat the crap out of the other team and just as they are about to go out in this serious moment, Gosling decides this is the perfect time to jump straight into the air, stare at the camera, and looked as shocked as the audience when they noticed he did that.

Aww, she just wants a hug.  Besides, how can you say no to that face, look at that punam.

Oh man, you have to love Tim Ware here and his Turkey Neck grill.  Just after Christmas too.  Well done Tim Ware, it doesn’t matter that I haven’t seen you in anything else…ever.

Look at all the happy joyous people jumping around.  Then look at the bottom at the abnormally large dude who is completely dead faced and looking directly into the camera.  Yeah, I see you!  I only hope that you run for president one day and I can bring out this pic to ruin your credibility.

Up until this point I swore that Will Patton was grill proof.  But low and behold, not only do we get to see his “O Face” but it’s so amazing that Gosling and Denzel have to jump on the bandwagon too.

But then Denzel gives up and decides it’s better to physically push Patton out of frame than to be out grilled by him.  I expected more from an academy award winner.


That’s it, I hope you enjoyed this glance into my grill-appreciation past, I sure know I did.

N-Mania.

No Comments yet »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Powered by WordPress with Hiperminimalist Theme design by Borja Fernandez.
Entries and comments feeds. Valid XHTML and CSS.