If you need me I’ll be out cruisin in my Esca…ugh…Denali.

ebd__0004_layer-15

I’ve had this one in my back pocket now for a good long while. Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) could no longer be contained solely on my hard drive. He needed to escape and share his lively, effervescent spirit. So it is without further ado, that I mark my long awaited (I hope) return to the hallowed halls of Grill Wilson, with a little help from the one and only Kenneth Powers.

ebd__0017_layer-1

For those of you unfamiliar with both Kenny Powers and Eastbound & Down, he is a former professional baseball player who is a composite of sorts. One part John Rocker, one part Kenny Rogers (not the chicken guy), and another part anybody on steroids. He is also a complete dick. That last part won’t come through in this post so much, but if I do my job correctly the steroid part most definitely will.

ebd__0016_layer-2

These next few grills illustrate Kenny at his absolute professional apex. Feel free to just breathe in the musky, mulleted power of his multiple faces of glory.

ebd__0015_layer-3

No words I could possibly come up with would adequately describe the veritable rainbow of emotions running through Kenny’s existence right now.

ebd__0014_layer-4

Actually, for this one I think I may have some words to describe Kenny. Sore-winner seems adequate. Act like you’ve been there before Kenny.

kenny_powers

Kenny has a penchant for Johnny Cashesque attire and expertly sculpted goatees. Him and I  go to the same barber, but I have a slightly better haircut.

ebd__0010_layer-9

This exact point is where Kenny’s majestic tale of triumph begins to unravel. Kenny must have missed this formative episode of Saved by the Bell. Had he seen it, maybe he would have, I don’t know, went to the gym more or schedule a session or two with a dietitian.

ebd__0009_layer-10

Luckily for Kenny, there’s is a built in place for failed athletes to go in society. Physical education. The best part is, he couldn’t be happier. I mean, the benefits, the time off, the reasonable hours, what’s to complain about?

ebd__0006_layer-13

Well for one thing it isn’t as exciting as the fame, the money, the jewels, the cash, gettin’ drunk on the reg, good times on the reg, yachts on the reg, or sex on the reg.

ebd__0003_layer-16

It’s alright though. Don’t worry about Kenny. Kenny’ll be okay.

ebd__0002_layer-17

Damn straight.

ebd__0001_layer-18

YEAHHHHHHH!!!!

– Boris

One thought on “If you need me I’ll be out cruisin in my Esca…ugh…Denali.”

  1. Long awaited? Hell yes. Triumphant? Yea, verily. I love the rainbow of emotion, I love the ‘roid rage, I love the animated two-step, and thank you, THANK you, for adding in the “crotch display” shot in the hallway. Also, that last image is a thing of beauty. Keep on keepin’ on, son.

Leave a Reply