The Franco-McBride Grill Express conclusion


With our two heros split up due to creative differences, Matheson and Budlofsky kidnap Saul and Dale makes it back to Red’s house for help.

Self-Portrait with birthday cake (at the cross roads), C-Print, courtesy of the artist

Going in, I thought the interrogation scene on Red’s couch was gonna be the best shot in the film. Then I remembered Red’s death tableaux, which is really set off by music masterpiece Tha Crossroads, by none other than Bone Thugs N Harmony. “And I’m gonna miss e’eryLADDY.”

Red, after massive blood loss, contemplates his next life as “Man, I’m just into Buddhism”.

Dale tells Red that if he is an asshole in this life, he’ll end up coming back as a roach or a foul sex toy in the next.

Red hears the call for battle. “Thug Liife…”

The boys are off, racing to the scene in Red’s Daewoo LANOS.

Another still of Red’s colorful gestures for posterity.

Meanwhile, at Ted’s weed barn headquarters Saul and Matheson are going at it. Here Matheson has just punched Saul in the balls.

Before catching Saul, he smashed a pot of coffee in Matheson’s face, causing him to “look like Hamburgler… and The Elephant Man.”

Budlofsky reasons with Matheson.

Dale and Red make it to the barn, but Red bitches out and drives off, ditching Dale to fight for himself. He’s quickly captured and locked up with Saul. Somehow they manage to cap Matheson, who walked in to complain about how he can clearly hear their escape plan through the wall.

“Ya’ll shot me!” In a subtle comedic stroke, Saul apologies immediately after shooting Matheson.

“I never been shot… I got glass in my ass!”

Finally, an actual grill of this mystery man Ted (again, played by Gary Cole), blazing in the door with two pieces.

Our heroes are blazing right back. I wish the camera pulled out just a bit on this one, it might have qualified for “guns held close to chest.

This however, definitely qualifies for “guys getting shot.

Wait, how close is that gun to his chest!? Oh yeah, that definitely counts. Tag it.

Franco manages to get back upstairs through the air vent, only to be met with a Budlofsky-Matheson shoot out.

Budlofsky to Saul.

Franco as The Christ, C-Print, courtesy of the artist

Matheson to Budlofsky.

Saul to Matheson, “That’s fucked up man.”

Matheson to Saul.

Franco as “Aiite, if this is how it’s gonna be, aiite”, C-Print, courtesy of the artist

Wait, what’s this! Could it be? Red!? Yes, it IS Red!

“You just got killed by a Daewoo LANOS motha’fucka!” as he shoots off Matheson’s right foot and mumbles “gross.”

It’s your moment Red… just before getting shot up, again. This time by the crooked female cop who didn’t produce a grill worth sharing here.


In comes the Asian mob deus-ex-machina, tossing a suitcase bomb towards Ted and yelling “Suck my ball… twice!”

Needless to say, Ted doesn’t make it through that one. Though, he does leave us with a spectacular corpse grill.

Wait, is that Red? How are you still alive dog?

Haggard, he manages to hang on to that bombed-out XXL velor jacket.

The boys bring it in at breakfast, talking of friendship and three-way heart lockets.

Red, silently affirming the good vibes.

McBride is challenging Seagal in the head-space category with this angle.

Though, Red just might be leaving us with a corpse grill himself…

No way, dog!

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