Happy Malentine’s Day 2011!

Welcome back, sports fans! In the true spirit of Malentine’s Day, I think it’s high time we laid the bromance on THICK. So let’s start by checking in on our dashing heroes, in the short moments that led to their first fateful encounter.

This scene kind of creeps me out. “Hey, let’s bring Dad his birthday cake while he’s buck naked in the bathtub!” We can’t see Danny’s little Glovers floating around in that murky bathwater, but his children don’t share that luxury. And everyone seems cool with it. I don’t know, maybe I’m the weird one.

“What is this feeling, this aching in my chest?!”

“Mmmm, cookie- PPFFFTTTT OATMEAL GROSS RRAAARRRRR!!!”

“Ohh! This sensation… what is this?”

“I want to know what love is.”

” ‘scuse me guys, can you tell me about… love?”

“heh heh heh CAN we.”

“Are you sure this is how it works?”

“Shouldn’t we be kissing and stuff?”

“SHOW ME LOVE.”

“Nobody loves me.”

“It’s my offensive B.O., I just know it.”

“Who is that fine piece ….”

DING

It’s love at first grill.

Bad guy interlude with Gary Busey Bonus!

Segue into a Tom Atkins grill-within-a-grill. Also note the blatant bromanticism.

Why is poor Tom Atkins swinging wildly through these emotions?

“It’s over. There’s someone else.”

“Lost Boys was great! I can’t wait for the sequel!”

“You’re hair looks GREAT-”

“-is what my wife told me this morning. What.”

“No one asked me to be their Malentine today.”

“Who cares about your feelings!”

“What about MY feelings!?”

“Sometimes it feels like love is a battlefield!”

“He’s MY Malentine!”

“Uh, Danny, I can explain…”

“I thought I was your Malentine!”

Their first grill-off.

“I can’t believe you made that grill at me! I’m hurt!”

“Take this!”

“I’m glad we worked that out. I like you, Mr. Glover.”

“Shucks, call me Danny, Mr. Gibson.”

“Call me Crazy!”

(Note to self- Gibson is craaaazy.)

I felt like you needed to see this one both ways.

Baddie taking a slug to the chest.

“Mind if I take my pants off?”

They’re on a boat. In Glover’s driveway.

“Nice shot, baby.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Up all night, thinking about him.

“Drink this, hon. It’s Earl Grey.”

“I love it.”

“YEAH!”

“YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!”

“YUURRRRRRRHHH!!!”

Tommy, you look tense, what’s wrong?

Drowning his sorrows in Party Nogg.

The Nogg’s gone bad!

Is Gibson totally channeling Nic Cage here or what?

“Whoa, you’re not my mom!”

A moment so intimate, Danny doesn’t even notice all the broken glass he’s collected in his crotch.

The bromance is brewing. Hard.

You don’t need a scope to spot those choppers.

I think he’s breaking wind in this shot.

Never go full Busey.

The agony…

The ecstasy!

Maybe it’s time to… lay off the Baby Ruth Bars, Danny.

Another goon getting shot and taking it like a MAN.

“Since my shirt is already off, I’m thinking I should remove my pants.”

“Fine with me!”

I think this is a good time to cue that Lethal Weapon theme music. Seriously, listen to the song while drinking in the rest of this post; it only serves to Enhance the Bromance.

Busey’s wilin’ out.

Didn’t we already establish the fact that you should NEVER go full Busey?

Some Scott Stapp lookin’ nonsense.

Obvious stuntman.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer?

“Giant pancakes?! Where?”

NEVER GO FULL BUSEY!!!

Now if you listened to the theme song, you’ll know that even love can become a lethal weapon. Please continue for the visual proof.

May all your Malentine’s Day wishes come true.

Love,

-christoph

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