Fast and Furious: The Bromance Strikes Back

The look on Brian O’Conner’s (Paul Walker) face tells us that we are in for some serious bromance grills. The boys return to earlier movies full bromance form in this edition. Snap in the seat belts and hold on tight.

This cat (Shea Whigham) ran into Brian at the wrong time and look what happened to his FACE!!!

Brian thought to himself, “Maybe I shouldn’t have busted dudes face up so bad?”

“Just kidding!!”

This king douche is Dwight (Greg Cipes). Everything about this guy is super douchy.

Hair? Check. Pencil thin beard? You know it!!!!

This is the start of extreme levels of bromance not seen since the original movie. Check out Alpa Chino himself (Brandon T. Jackson) gazing HARD at O’Conner. That’s not subtle at all dude.

Campos (John Ortiz) proves that a proper scowl adds twenty five to thirty yards to his tee shots.

Alpa Chino continues to O’Conner gaze out of the corner of his eyes.

Campos is busy making love to his bottle of Miller Lite.

Say hello to Fenix (Laz Alonso). We’re about to become real familiar with his brand of grill work. There’s also a twist of bromance thrown in the direction of one Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel).

You’ve got to love the vacant-face, bromance, plus sneaking into the frame by Alpa Chino. He’s really making the most of this minor role. For more from him, see Lottery Ticket.

Fenix has eyes only for blurry Torretto.

Alpa has since given up on his blossoming bromance with O’Conner and refocused his attention on the race at hand.

I feel like I’m experiencing some déjà vu right now. Like I’ve been here before.

O’Conner feels it too.

Maybe a little too much.

Alpa might is super amped up for the race. He chose to bite down extra hard Val Kilmer style (see here) as a way to intimidate his fellow racers.

This random dude is clearly intimidated, but not by Alpa’s hard bite down maneuver. It probably has more to do with the Impala that’s about to smash into his car. He probably straight up died on impact.

O’Conner is pulling out a tense triangle mouth face.

He thought that was too subtle so he brought this one out of his bag of faces.

Even after both of those grill drops, he had enough left in the tank for this T-Rex face.

He must have swallowed all of his teeth since the last frame since they are nowhere to be found.

Alpa chose to make this weird face in Toretto’s general direction….

…..instead of watching the road and then drives headlong into a Dodge Caravan. He might also have died.

Toretto believes that by holding the wheel hard as shit and grimacing, that he can make his car go slightly faster.

Its that point in the post/movie where Brian has a case of hungry eyes.

As does Toretto. I’d say we’ve got ourselves a fully renewed bromance right now.

Brian is tickled by the thought.

This was Brian’s response to Toretto bumping him off the road to win the race.

Toretto’s facial response leads me to believe he just smelled a fart.

“Why’d you do that bro???” Brian inquired.

*silence*

“You can’t be mad at this face Brian.” Dominic boasted.

Looks like Brian is a little bit mad.

Nobody is enjoying the show more than Fenix however.

“Eh dog, eh, you stay out of this okay?” Brian barked.

“Toretto’s mine!!!” Brian yelled.

Fenix has other ideas.

Even Dwight thinks he can make jokes on Brian.

But Brian has a plan.

He and Breeze Loo plant some drugs at his place and get his ass arrested.

Yeah….ah ha….you know what it is….

Black and Yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow.

*no words*

Pure homo-eroticism.

Watch as Toretto performs mouth sex on his ice cold Corona Extra ®.

Campos lights up at any mention of mouth sex.

Yo Campos, who do you think you are over here? LL Cool J?

Toretto clearly liked my joke. Just enjoy these next few ones on me.

Hey Brian that Corona Extra ® placement ain’t so subtle.

This is the placement that Toretto prefers for his Corona Extra ®.

I don’t have anything to say about this one, I can’t lie.

This is Brian enjoying some hot Swizz Beatz.

Brain is a little pissed off cause Toretto was supposed to be meeting him on his way to part three of this series of posts.

“Chill Brian, I’m here for you.” Dominic asserted.

“Dom’s here……”

See y’all in part three.

– Jackie Boris

One thought on “Fast and Furious: The Bromance Strikes Back”

  1. Laz Alonso as Fenix for MVG on this one. Most Valuable Grill, not a doubt in my mind.

    Don’t remember the bit characters as much with this one. Haven’t spent enough time with it yet. Dwight is looking like he just huffed a few whip-its off stage with David Spade in character as Joe Dirté.

    Alpha going head first in to certain doom still made me chuckle. Thanks dog, right up until the end you were doin’ work. Big up Dodge Caravan.

    The subtle gum chew scene made me loose my cool, especially after trying so hard to maintain it after seeing Dom imbibe (or inflate?) that Corona bottle with vacuum sealed efficiency. Amazing.

    Don’t think for a second I missed that Diesel triangle mouth either. #119. He may also be playing a pan flute medley with the mouth of the bottle.

    Man, those last two… I have absolutely no recollection of Dom going so Jersey Shore on us. Yet there he is going full Snooki. Don’t worry Dom, Brian won’t keep those lips waiting for long.

    What can I say? I need more of this.

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