It’s Go Time


GoDaddy always delivers with their ads.  This one, this work of art, this masterpiece, this frame was enough to make me lose it.  In fact, it got me so good that I had to rush to my computer to re-watch it because I missed the entire spot due to a literal ROFLMAO.


You come for Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg (yeah I know his real name, don’t judge me), you stay for the story of a simple baker (I couldn’t find your real name) who has more than simple dreams.  Like all dreamers, it starts by sticking your fingers in something.


Wow 25 new orders all ready!  All he had to do was shove his fingers…anyway


Why so glum?  You just got 25 orders.  Oh I see, you were expecting more.  Well, you know what you have to do…again.


He looks distracted.  I hope whatever is causing him to go pure dead face will help him.


Aaaaaaand this is where the post really starts.  Not only do we get a super unnecessary lean in that is done purely to emphasize his head, we see some of his left over 90’s wardrobe.  Those aren’t jeans, it’s some space age fabric that is designed specifically so he can do splits whenever, where ever he wants.  Also that flour is magically becoming Belgian Waffles as it’s crushed like a diamond by the awesomeness that is the Muscles From Brussels.


Hey, some one’s impressed, or he just wants some sweaty waffles.  You purse those lips.


JCVD approves.  Pay no attention to his multiple cheeks, rainbow bongo strap, and droopy left eyelid.  Just get lost in those eyebrows.


Nope, he won’t be drawn in.  Or wait, unless…


Hey he can teleport!  Watch as he frantically shakes those maracas as if a genie will pop out.  He throws in some more crazed eyebrows and spastic peck flexing, all while looking down on us as if to say “everything will be alright”.


Don’t look so frightened, he’s only trying to help.


Uh oh, he’s traded in the crazed eyebrows for a longing stare that some how made his nose bigger.  Also the maracas have switched to the side.  Either he has some grand plan or this was simply to show off his biceps.


A perplexed look in this bakery can only mean one thing…


“I just teleported into your fridge and now I’m playing a flaming pan flute while rubbing my nuts where you store your food, no big deal”



I love how in every shot he’s doing splits as if he was preparing for the Kumite.   Throw in some more crazy eyebrows, multiple cheeks, and a nose that seems to change size every shot and we have a perfect moment.  Only thing missing is the famous “lump” on his head.


Baker is stunned as if he just locked eyes with a cobra.  All he can do now is take his advice, “It’s Go Time” yes it is.


After he disappears it’s time to feel yourself up, that’s good for business.  Don’t make it weird.

Until next time,


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