Fast Five – Part Three: Damn Bro…


Part 3 greets us with a solitary unnamed henchman, let’s call him Burro Lips (Louis Gonzaga).  He looks so lonely in this world of perfectly evenly spaced furniture, I sure hope a friend comes by to say hi.

Seems like you’re looking a little lonely there too, Nick- so your old pal christoph is stopping by to keep the tradition going and guest-write along with you.

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Fast Five – Part Two: Wild deuces couldn’t drag them apart.

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Last time on Fast Five: The boys found themselves in a whole trainload of trouble! But with some quick thinking from Brian and Dom, they managed to escape by the skin of their teeth. Unfortunately for them, Latin Steve Guttenberg, aka Esteban Guttenberg, aka Latin Steven Seagal was one step ahead of them.

Turns out we liked the ghost writing idea so much, we done decided to bring it back for part two. This time it’s your old pal Boris, fresh off the meat racks that was part one.

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Fast Five – Part One: Saying goodbye is the hardest part.

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Vin Diesel’s facial expression kind of says it all. This post was meant to go up almost a year ago, but alas, life got in the way. The Grill Wilson family grew by two this past year. If the Fast series has taught us anything, its that the most important thing is family, whether it be immediate or surrogate. So you can imagine me, basking in the glow of my two month old daughter, and me, knowing full well that a baby girl was on the way, and hearing the awful news. I didn’t want to believe it then, and I still don’t want to. Nobody does. We lost what felt like a member of our family on November 30th. Writing this post is awfully bittersweet to me. I wanted to see Dom and Brian grow old together. I’ll have to settle for remembering the good times. The blow is lessened by knowing that Paul Walker will live forever in his work, and that Brian O’Connor will carry on, to shepherd his son Jack into manhood. I know that he will do the best he can, because family comes first.

Grill Wilson has never been a serious site, it pokes fun in a generally playful manner. Please know that the entire previous paragraph was completely sincere. With that said, I present our grand vision for the grill saga of Fast Five. Even before the movie released, it was all set in stone. Five parts, five writers, it couldn’t be done any other way. Some tweaks to that formula had to be made, because babies don’t take care of themselves. So I, Boris, will co-write Part One with Matt, Oh Hi! I’ll be ghostwriting in gray, then with parts by the rest of the team until the entire movie is fully grilled to perfection.

It’s taken a long time to come to fruition, and none of us expected to lose Paul along the way. Think of this as a tribute to his steady and reliable work, which we have all been appreciating for years.  Now that I’ve made it through the hard part, let’s enjoy basking in the afterglow, together.

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Happy Malentine’s Day 2014!

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Welcome back, sports fans – it’s that time of year again. So sit back and relax, let’s get down to it. It’s gonna be a helluva fight. You got a great night of grillin’ tonight!

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Toilet Boll 2014


Another Superbowl is upon us so you know what that means, I get to sink my teeth into another work of art by the Plopping Pugilist, Uwe “Toilet” Boll.  After the overall crap fest that is House Of The Dead, I wanted to watch something with at least some actors in it.  This year we will be checking out “In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale”.  Welcome to Toilet Boll 2014!!!
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