Happy Malentine’s Day! And were it not Malentine’s Day, this post would have been titled “Grill Hard 2: Grill Harder”, of course. Naturally. Can we all just take a second to appreciate how brilliant that tagline is? Die Hard 2: DIE HARDER. So good. I don’t know who came up with that, but for now I’ll just assume it was Renny Harlin. I’m not even joking, I love that tagline. “Electric Boogaloo” is the only thing that even comes close, in my opinion, and I honestly don’t know which one is better. Probably “Die Harder”.
Another Superbowl is upon us so you know what that means, I get to sink my teeth into another work of art by the Plopping Pugilist, Uwe “Toilet” Boll. After the overall crap fest that is House Of The Dead, I wanted to watch something with at least some actors in it. This year we will be checking out “In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale”. Welcome to Toilet Boll 2014!!!
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You know it’s been too long when you need to reset your password.
Once again it’s Malentine’s Day- time for flowers, chocolates, and buddy cop bromantic comedies. This year we’ll be taking a look at Tango & Cash, the smash hit from 1989. Pretty sure it won Best Picture that year, but I could be mistaken. Anyway, Let’s meet our two heroes!
Welcome to the first annual Toilet Boll. Every year around the great American holiday of the Superbowl I will grill one of Uwe Boll’s magnum opuses. Most of his work is unwatchable (which is why I will only do this once a year) but since I’m jealous of Chris’s Malentine’s Day, I will suffer through this annually for the grill public. Without Further-a-do, I give you…TOILET BOLL 2013!
In American Face-Off Round: 1 the winner was clearly Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale). Before he could raise his eyebrows in furrowed victory, I told legend of one man who could knock him off his oily faced pedestal. Yet, in spite of my endorsement of the challenger, there he sits exuding supreme confidence. He is emotionless, dare I say…plastic. But I digress, without further ado I give you the number one contender…